What's on your heart? I hope you're struggling with something too...

WOW! So as you can see by the date of my last blog, I haven't been on here for... um... a while. It's coming on up three years since I left for Lubumbashi, DRC and I've been reflecting a lot on that experience and how it changed my life so I thought I should get back to this blogging thing and write my thoughts down. So, for better or worse, here goes!

So yeah, I'm sure most of you know that I went to DR Congo for three months in 2010. I still talk about it too dang much, thanks for putting up with me ;-)  I figured I'd give a short background about it for those new friends I've made in the past few years who may not know much about it (feel free to skip this paragraph if you don't want to read about it, unless you tell me I won't ever know)... It was my first ever mission trip of any kind. I took the Individual Volunteer UMVIM course and hit the road (well, the skies anyways). Off to a country where I knew no one, didn't speak any of the languages and where, for some strange reason, I felt called to be. While I was there I was homesick (and a few times physically sick.) I cried and on a few occasions I almost gave up and left... However, while there I met so many amazing people from around the world! I gained strength from friendships and from God. This gal from VA who gets carsick and doesn't like being in loud places survived the roads (if you want to call them that) in DRC and being in Worship that had to be louder than most concerts I've been to! Living at Jamaa Letu was a blessing to me! The girls, babies and Mommas who live there are so amazing and strong. I think of them often and wish I could just hop a flight over there to say hey and visit for a few weeks! Was I the best guest?  I still think of things I did wrong or didn't handle the way I should have so I'm sure I wasn't! Was I helpful? Probably not. Did I get teased about not knowing how to wash laundry by hand? You bet I did! Did I always understand what was going on? Nope. Do I still miss Mama Rebecca's cooking? Mmmm, yeah buddy!! Do I love all those folks I met and pray for the great folks at Jamaa Letu? You know it!!! (And seeing one of the babies from Jamaa Letu stateside with his forever family? WHOA, ah-maze-ing!)

So after that amazing experience I was blessed to head back to DRC that December and help out with an awesome and amazing non-profit! Was it challenging? Yes! Would I give up a week of personal time in a heartbeat to go back and help them or one of the other amazing non-profits who do work in DRC? Pretty sure I should just insert "duh!" here ;-)  (BTW, if you're in Kinshasa and need a place to stay, I can recommend an awesome place!)

That was it! God had put it on my heart that international missions went from being pretty much off any priority list that I had for myself to pretty close to the top! I went to Honduras twice in 2011 with Mercy Teams. I not only had the most awesome folks on my teams but I really enjoyed going back later in 2011 to see the kids I had met in the spring. Building a relationship with folks around the world who love God is a HUGE blessing! Because I was so busy my trip to Costa Rica in 2012 never even made it to this blog. Dang it, right? I helped lead a group of super youth and their awesome leaders to Costa Rica and we worked our butts off! (Well, actually, I worked the skin on my knee off, after being horribly clumsy and stepping into a hole while trying to walk down-hill- oops...)

So now we come to... well, now. I have two mission trips on the calendar. Taking the youth to a project here in Virginia this summer and leading a team to Crisfield, MD to help with Hurricane Sandy relief in October. (Shameless plug- we still have some spots open, email me if you want to join!) I have been considering joining a team going to Brazil from my district in the fall but not sure I can swing that with everything going on in life right now. Perhaps God needs me to stick to these US based mission trips this year.

Can I just tell you how much my heart aches to serve internationally again sometimes in the next year or two? To get back to DRC or Honduras or serve in another third-world country would be so amazing. I miss meeting Christians who live a different life than I do in their own home-country. However, serving this way really changes ones views. Am I thankful for all I have? Oh yes, yes, yes! Would I give up constant internet connection, constant running water and constant electricity to be helpful somewhere else? Oh yes, yes, yes! Would I wash my clothing by hand again? Yup! (Would I do it with gloves so my knuckles don't bleed though, yes... learned that lesson the hard, bloody way...) Would I give up showering again for months on end to serve if needed? Thanks to bathing wipes from REI- yes, yes I would. (I would also soak in a tub for an entire day upon my return.) Would I miss my family and friends way too much? Oh yes! But you all are so supportive of me that I know we'd find a way to stay in touch. (Cell phones work everywhere these days... well, in many places...)

So I hear you asking (if you've made it this far into this entry): Rachel, why are you writing all this? What are you trying to tell us?
My answer: I dunno... I've just been struggling with this whole "having-a-heart-for-a-longer-term-international-mission-and-not-knowing-what-it-means-or-what-to-do-about-it" thing...
I do know that I've been reading a lot of blog posts recently by clergy and laity. Some blog posts aren't church related, others are. I've decided that I need to blog more- keep this sucker up to date a little more. No one, besides my Mom and Dad (HI you two), may read this... that's cool. But I'm putting it out there for the universe. I have some future blog posts started...

So what's on your heart right now? Honestly, I hope you're struggling with something too or have been recently. Not because I want folks to be struggling and uncomfortable or because I want struggle-buddies... but because God doesn't call us to find a place in life and get comfy for too long. Throughout life times should find us that call us to be uncomfortable, searching and questioning. Without these times we can't grow. We may not be able to reach perfection, but to strive for it means growing and changing. I also hope that you have a safe place to struggle. If you don't, find one. Need a struggle-buddy? Let me know!

Before I sign off, let me just offer this prayer please:
Creator God, thanks for being so amazing and awesome and wonderful and powerful that there are really no human words to properly describe you. For those in this world who have no belief in a higher being and the hope of an eternal life after this one, I totally pray! For those who lack sufficient food, water, clothing, shelter, support and LOVE, I truly pray. For those who say they love everyone but don't show it in their actions, yeah, that's all of us at some point, I really pray! For those who aren't happy and satisfied with their situations right now for any reason, I pray. For those who are hurting, lonely or suffering, God, I pray. For every person who is happy, smiling and satisfied beyond belief at life, I pray. Help us to do our best at all times God. Lead us. Feed us. Find us. Heal us. Beyond all, THANK YOU for loving us! In the name of the most awesome radical dude in history, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.